So 2012 wasn't the worst of years but on a scale of SUCK to AWESOME, it ranks somewhere in the MEH range. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of things I did differently that I loved; I expanded my wings and tried to fly.
I made a ton more friends, started playing roller derby, and drove my car between Toronto and Cleveland. I also continued working on my doctorate and received a fellowship, which is pretty bad ass.
I had some medical issues (still healing) and thanks to the US Government Loan business, lost a chunk of cash each semester that would have allowed me to buy a home. I was also thrown away by someone I called a friend (awful feeling).
My daughter graduated from high school and started a college program. ❤
Stuck in the mundane. Still need space. Didn't work on my writing.
I will get there. 2013 is going to be wonderful. I can feel it in my bones!!
I cannot WAIT to see this movie!!
Oh, sweet and beautiful Paris, how you touch my soul!
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My french is showing. C'est la vie! ❤
A little something that I realized today….
I have never been one for marriage. It seems to be great for everyone else but me. Don't get me wrong – relationships do not scare me – as a matter of fact, it would be terrific to have someone to count on, love, share things with, and care about but the "M" word leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. Up until this morning, as I began reading Virginia Woolf's first novel, The Voyage Out, did I realize why.
I dislike the whole idea of marriage because I fear it will require me to not only surrender my independence but also surrender myself.
Silly? Perhaps but it is me and how I feel and that makes it incredibly beautiful. One year ago, I wouldn't have been able to embrace this aspect about me, let alone even realize it but now I do understand and accept it with open arms. It is an aspect of me that, through a year of self discovery, I have learned of and knowing will help me move forward.
Do I want love? Yes.
Would a decent boyfriend be nice? Of course!
Do I need another person to give me a new last name to feel this love? Nope.
And there you have it.